Conflict Resolution Procedure

NOTICE: This document is a WORK IN PROGRESS -- And OPEN FOR COMMENT -- This notice will be removed after this document has been agreed on.

Overview

This document details our official Interpersonal Conflict Resolution Procedure. It is to be adhered to by all FTEE/TA staff, board members, volunteers, and general membership. Failure to attempt in good faith to resolve conflicts via the this procedure is a violation of the Code of Conduct. This document is to be agreed on by all parties when they join the project. This document is not to be used to resolve Code of Conduct violations. This is for interpersonal disputes only.

Motivation

Conflicts happen when groups of people work together, this is an inescapable fact of life. If we accept this, we can more effectively work together by formalizing the way in which we resolve the natural conflicts that are bound to come up as different personality types and life experiences work and/or spend time together.

Definitions

• Formal Conflict Resolution - Formal way of resolving interpersonal conflicts that occur while working together
• In-conflict - Any situation where two people (not sure what word to use here yet)
• Check-in - Self guided or moderated form of formal conflict resolution (full detailed below)
• Moderator - Neutral person, agreed on by all parties in-conflict who sits in on a check-in
• Resolution - A state in which all in-conflict parties have found a way to get past their differences. This is the end goal of the check-in process

Check-ins

The check-in process is a self guided form of conflict resolution. A check-in can be asked at any time by simply asking the person they are in conflict with for a "check-in". At this point both parties must agree for a time and date to meet and talk about their differences privately. It is normal for parties to have to hold several check-ins before they fully resolve their conflict. To summarize the check-in process is as follows:

• There is a conflict between two people
• One party (or both) ask each other to have a check-in
• The parties agree on a time and date to hold the check-in
  • At this time a moderator should be chosen if either party would like one
• The check-in is held
• The above steps are repeated until the conflict is resolved

Tips for a Successful Check-in

The most important part of the check-in process is to hear what the other person has to say, listen fully and let them say everything. Once the other party has finished speaking one should acknowledge what the other party has said and then repeat it back to them in their own words, and then reply to it. By doing this, both parties will know the other one has heard them.

Usage of the word you should be avoided at as much as possible. Focus on I statements. Example: Instead of - "You make me feel angry when you tell me..." Try: "I get angry, when I hear..." By doing this, it avoids the feelings associated with this type of confrontation.

An example Check-in

Here is a fictional account between two parties in-conflict and how they meet a resolution. Please note, this example is very generic and does not cover the depth in which a real check-in would work. It is only to provide a simple sketch of what the process should look like while you are engaged in the check-in process.

Moderated Check-ins

If the parties are unable to resolve their conflicts with a self guided check-in or the parties are not comfortable to meet on their own, a moderator can be chosen to sit in on the check-ins and keep things civil and safe for all parties involved.

Choosing a Moderator

A moderator must be neutral party as seen as by both parties in the check-in process. If either party expresses discomfort with the chosen moderator, a different moderator should be chosen immediately, this is not to be debated.

Role of the Moderator

The moderator is not there to pick a winner or loser of a check-in (further more, a check-in has no winner nor does it have a loser). The moderator's responsibilities are as follows:

• Review the "Tips for a Successful Check-in" section of this document with both parties
• Allow each party to fully speak, before the other one has finished
• Make sure both parties fully hear and understand each-other, before moving to the next discussion point

Guidelines for Being a Good Moderator

• Always start the check-in with the CommunityMeetingsOpeningRitual - The meeting should be ended either party expresses distress.
• Give both people room to fully state how they see the situation, one at a time
• After each party has explained how they feel, ask the other party to explain what they heard in their own words
• Once both parties have explained their position from their point of view, and both parties have said how they feel in their own words. The moderator should ask each party how they feel now.
• If needed the above steps can be repeated, the goal is to get to the root cause of the disagreement and find an understanding of each other on some level
• The Code of Conduct is still in full effect during the check-in, if violated the check-in should be ended
• If one or more parties is unable to engage in the check-in with a good faith effort, the check-in should be ended. Rescheduled if needed
• There is nothing wrong with changing the date of a check-in. Everyone involved must be in a position to participate in the check-in

Categories: CoreDocuments