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To whom it may concern,

I realize that I should have told you this prior to telling my case manager or anyone else. However, regarding your story of the Superior Officer you had that had both genetalia, I didn't feel comfortable disclosing this information to you until now. I still don't feel comfortable telling you this. However, in order for me to live by the two things you've told me..."Be yourself" and "A liar is worse than a thief", I have to tell you that I feel like I should've been born as a female. I've been feeling this way for quite some time but have been trying to deny these feelings as I know you want to have grandchildren. I may talk about having children, but truth is...I can't stand them. That little bastard we watched ruined it for me. Now, I could have done this all back in Iowa. BUT, with the "family" we had back there, I didn't feel comfortable saying this. And as I've done more research on the subject, a lot of the feelings I feel match up with the reports and articles and I feel that in order to be myself, I need to change my outside to match the inside.

Now, you may be worried about how we're going to pay for all this. I honestly have no clue. I've been doing research on if there is any way for low income people to pay for the hormone pills. Hope may cover it if they feel it is a part of why I'm always depressed. I also feel this could be why I snap at you a lot. If they do not, then I'm shit out of luck. I know this will take some time to get wrapped around your head. I know it did me and it's my feelings. I know it feels like you're losing a child. But you aren't and you won't. I'm still the same person as I have always been. I just wish to be true to my feelings and true to myself.

If you can't accept that or won't accept that, I will have no choice but to find other living arrangements. As for what name I will go by...when my transition is further along and I can pass as a girl, I will get my name and gender marker changed as the given name I have now will have to go as it won't fit with who I am at that time. I will go by Kaela. And only surgeries I believe I will need is FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery), Adams apple shaving, vocal chord shortening (only if I can't produce a convincing feminine voice on my own), electrolysis (for facial hair removal), and possibly to prevent issues with remasculinization and/or liver issues as well as cut down on the overall cost of HRT for whoever ends up paying for it, an orchiectomy (surgical removal of the testicles). Again, in order for me to be comfortable with myself, I must do this.

Please read the following prior to asking me any questions:

Gender Identity

Transgender

Sincerely,

Kaela [redacted]

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Categories: ComingOut Letters

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Page last modified on May 28, 2015, at 04:06 AM