Trigger Warning

This story may trigger some readers as it talks about sexual violent and other graphic material. Proceed with caution.

Submitted by Penny Raihne (8/31/2004)

"Amor Mio"

You were mine, Amor Mio,
Though I did surely not deserve you
And perhaps it's for the best
That this emptiness has freed you
For in love I could not save you
From the cancer of my heart
You are free now Amor Mio
Though forever in my heart
And I cannot live without you
But nor live with the knowledge
That If I didn't give you up
Your life would have been wasted
And no matter what I told you
My love was not a lie
So I bid you, Amor Mio
Farewell, and let love find you
For your destiny is certain
To bring a better choice to you
And I'll survive without you
Though the pain will surely wound me
Amor mio, care bene,
My heart belongs to you...

-Pen 12/29/99

"Changing Channels" (PG)

Visible ribcages
On infant children
Unburied bodies
In minefield streets
Caught between bullets
And forensic hell
Awake to the sound
Of kidneys exploding
Living with extinction
And political agendas
Bearing bloody bridal gowns
For their mass-murder marriage
And we sit seeing tv shows
Describing all this horror
And we keep changing channels
And hope it will go away
And it's with this magnificent ignorance
That we let the world bleed
Hit the remote all that you want
It will still be there tommorrow.

-Pen 96

"Could I?"

Everything is perfectly abnormal
Could I have found the end?
I have given up on love
All I want is a friend
Could it be it was always there,
And I simply viewed it all wrong?
It seemed so innocent until she looked inside my head
I thought she'd scream and run away
Just like all the others did
But she understood my haunted words
And we spoke despite myself
I think I could tell her anything
And she wouldn't just smile and nod
Maybe all I need is an ear
To help me sort it all out
I've been alone so long it seems
I'm used to having no one hear me
But now I've found a warm embrace
Who's not afraid to be near me
Can it really be so amazingly simple?
Is she really a soul with whom I can speak?
Is she the one who can help me fix
The parts of my soul that lay broken?
Is she finally the friend I've wanted
Who can help me feel whole...

- Pen 95

"Empty Bedsheets"

Every morning is cold and deprived
Waking from dreams that you had arrived
So tired of coming to
With only ghosts beside my head

Every night spread across the sheets
No one atop me, beside me or beneath
So tired of seeking solace
In a cold and empty bed

In dreams I can touch a warm soft smile
And swim in your eyes for a little while,
And wish I could remain asleep
And not wake up alone

To wake and touch a softly sleeping
Pale and warm and comforting soul
To fill the empty bedsheets
I want to bring you home...

- Pen '97

"Mock Me" (This one is vile, you may wish to skip it)

I know your mind is lying
when your lips say that they love me
I know that you're not really there
When your hand is in mine
but I don't care
It's only sex
When you fuck me til I bleed
There is no love
Your soul's a whore
and it knows what I need
Fuck me use me hate me abuse me
I'm all that you deserve
Hurt me grab me kiss me stab me
Or have you lost your nerve
I know you don't want them to know
And that's why I'm locked inside
And I have learned to live
With how you rape me every night
Mock me eat me break me beat me
I bleed inside your hole
Rip me tear me shun me share me
I feed upon your soul
I fuck you like a maniac
I bleed at your command
I bathe myself in broken glass
and blow up in your hands
I tear myself new holes for you
I kiss you where you bleed
I'm your filthy little secret
I satisfy your greed
You can mock me all you want to
But you know I'm all you've got
Together we can eat the world
Together we can rot...

-Pen '95

"Ode To My Net Friends"

Call out to my empty soul
But once too much
It stepped on me
And chased me back into my home
My life seemed cold
With no recourse
No way to keep
My sanity
Until I found
In my own home
Long distance lives
To comfort me
Reality was too selective
And altogether quite defective
All the people on my screen
Have fully 3 dimensions
The people in this world
Are made of colored paper
But the people of MY world
Are as real as all my dreams
I would go mad without you
To talk to and repast with
You are a treasure more than gold
With you my friends might I grow old
You are what keeps me sane
My friends upon the screen


-Pen 2k

'"Phantasy"'

Sometimes I find it too hot to sleep calmly
The kind of sweaty, restless night
Where you wake to find you've kicked off the sheets

And on those nights when the blood runs hot
And courses through the distractions
I sometimes see a face in my dreams

My eternal sensual fantasy girl
Who writes like I do, dark and horrid
Who can read my poems and show me no fear

No inhibitions, pretense or worries
Never concerned with what people might think
Who loves me and knows I love her like no one else

Who cares not the slightest of looks
And isn't bothered by my lack of perfection
Who I can say anything to without speaking a word

But my phantasy is all she can be
No one I know of is quite that twisted
So alone here I stand, trying to find her
Lost and broken, just like me...

- Pen '95

"The Roses"

Standing alone, in the rain on a dark field
Waiting for the lady to arrive
The lady who can save me from myself
I can see her in my mind sometimes
Fleeting contradictions of peace and sorrow
Each hand holds a rose
And rests against her shoulders
She smiles so sadly
Walk with me, Serenity

Somewhere in the distance,
The rain hides a voice
Telling me
"Wait for the roses"

The light in my eyes has grown too pale
The conflict in my soul leaves holes in my mind
As I imagine her face
And see only her eyes
Soft and icy and somehow sad
She throws a rose to my searching hands
Blood drawn by it's piercing thorns
The rain becomes red as I wait

Somewhere in the distance,
The rain hides a voice
Telling me
"Wait for the roses"

- Pen '94

"Unreal Distance"

There is no real distance between us,
No faraway that feels quite real
Your face is etched into my mind
And in my dreams you're in my arms
I cannot dream without you

I think of what your touch is like
To feel your breath across my cheek
To taste your lips
And softly smile
To have my heart beat softly in your ear

If, someday then, we should meet
And feel the earth between our toes
We'd stand beneath a moonlit sky
And dance to soft imagined music
That floats within our hearts

Oh how I wish that we were close
Locked within each other's arms
My distant lady, and yet so close
A picture I hold in my heart,
And a soul that visits my dreams...

- Pen '99

"Echoes"

The echoes roll around inside my head
The voices tell me things
But no words were said
They're stirring up trouble
Watch the blood spatter
Dripping and wet
The voices echoe
The blood keeps coming
And then the lights go out

Pen '94

"Gluttony"

He knows of what He cannot have
So in envy He decided
That He alone should reap the fruits
That all all our work provided
He consumes our blood and sweat
And He we bow to worship
And too few people realize
It's all a load of bullshit
He eats alive our will to be
Human beings with passion
Down on our knees just as it pleases
Our Heavenly assassin
He consumes our everything
Souls and sex and sweet surrealty
There is nothing left for you
You fed it all to Him

- Pen '96

"Pride"

Oh there's just nobody better
Is that not what you'd have us believe?
To ackowledge anyone as an equal to you
Is beyond your ability to perceive
You see us all as little mice
Eternally beneath you
You see yourself as the Hand of God
Who lies to justify you
Oh pious one
It's just so fun
To watch you run in circles
Around your outdated perceptions
Chase your dream
Of being supreme
You're just peaches and cream
Who's gone a little sour
You tell us that your word is truth
Though it comes from a book of lies
Which tells us to be humble
While letting you call all the shots
And when the book burns in your hands
It is your pride in His commands
That will leave you cold right where you stand
Speaking "truths" you plucked from lies...

- Pen '96

"Shrapnel & Red Soil"

A shot, a scream, a crying child
The violence has become quite wild
The consequences far from mild

FROM WAR

In a kettle of violence our fragile world boils
All I can see is shrapnel and red soil
The military we work hard to foil And what have we now to show for our toil

JUST WAR

The mothers will scream and the children will cry
A little girl just watched her family die
As I sit here and watch all these bullets fly by
I'm wondering when it comes my time to die

FOR WAR

The Militants preach war until they turn blue
How many must die before they are through
If we stand here and let them tell us what to do
Then I am no better and neither are you

IT'S WAR

At the feet of their self-induced grandiuer they knealt
No stomach to be found behind their fat belts
Do not try to ask if they know what we've felt
For the skin that adorns them is a coward's pelt

THAT'S WAR

The long-ago battles that these men have fought
Rewarded with Generalship that they got
The misery and suffering so long since forgot
And now behind large metal desks they shall rot

THEIR WAR

The night rolls along and I restlessly slept
Is this all my fragmented lifetime has kept
The deafening sound of the mothers who've wept
Is forever the army's unpayable debt

THIS IS WAR

I'll hold hatred for armies so long as they breathe
And they always possess a few tricks up their sleeve
Yet for them there shall be no last minute reprieve
When they die there will be not a soul who will grieve

FOR THEIR WAR

I ask now a question so open your ears
Ignore all your doubts and confront all your fears
Then take my small question to all of your peers
And ask them all when we can say that there is

NO WAR.

- Pen '93

"Things"

I dream of things at night
Oftimes beyond my reach
Such as my Evening Goddess
Milady, won't you come?
I dream in Black and White
Of innocence remembered
Of love that cannot find me
Milady, won't you come?
I dream of soft carresses
Her hand so brushed across my face
I dream of who I dream of
Milady, won't you come?

- Pen '99

"Padded Cage"

A vessel that I'm loathe to see
Has always trapped the real me
Beneath my chest are hidden breasts
That someday will be bouncing free
In my eyes, you'll see no lies
Behind the face I so despise
A girl within a padded cage
Who often sits and cries
But oh, to see the layers striiped
To see the outer bastard whipped
To happily free my reality
The balance has been tipped
My pretty pills destroy the cage
I simply must ride out the rage
The phallus falls away and in it's place
The battles wage
And in the end, my soul is free
The man shall die, if perhaps slowly
And breasts and warmth and truth shall stand
In the form of the real me.

-Pen 2k

"Disease"

Will you dirty up my knees?
Can I be your sweet disease?
I don't wear pants but you can get
My skirt to flip over my head
You sound divine
Dirty dreams like spilt wine
Let me lick your filthy mind clean
And everything in between
Just call me your whore
And my tongue becomes yours
And my knees forever soiled in your presence

- Penny 2K4 

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Categories: Poetry TSSupport