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<< ManagementMemo | TransitioningAtWork | >> My Letter To WorkThe following is the letter I wrote to my co-workers. I've scrubbed out the personal and company names, so you could use this if you'd like as a boilerplate. April 30th, 1998 I am writing this to bring you up to date and to make clear what my immediate future holds. Over the past year, I have been doing a lot of personal work with some wonderful people and I now feel quite healthy and well. I have some news that I must share with you all. The difficulty in sharing this news is that it deals with a topic that is beyond most people's experience and understanding. I suffer from a lifelong medical condition called Gender Identity Disorder (GID), which is commonly referred to as transsexualism. What is, for most people, at the core of their identity, is not so for me. You have probably heard of people who feel "they are a woman trapped in a man's body". While this is not precisely true for me, it is close enough that it will suffice for now. In the past several months, I have begun a process of transformation, from the male you know as OLD NAME, to a female, whom you will know as NEW NAME. I write this letter to announce that I will be starting a significant stage of this transition from male to female when I begin to live full-time in my assumed gender role. My intention is to start coming to work in my new identity, NEW NAME, on START DATE of this year. I will appreciate all efforts you make to accommodate me, including using my new name and referring to me as a woman, as I will graciously accept the expected slips and corrections for a time. My transition might be difficult for a few of you, while, for others, it could be no big deal, and we will soon be back to our strong, effective working relationships. I wish to reassure you that I do respect your true feelings, as you respect and honor mine, and that we will work through this. I am not pursuing this on a whim, but after much careful consideration with two therapists and the counsel of other people who have made this same type of transition. GID is a life-long condition, some consider it a congenital birth defect. The pain of living as a man, with the identity of self as a woman, and all the incongruities that brings about, is too great. The alternatives to pursuing transition are clear to me: depression, leading to complete withdrawal, or even suicide. Once I woke up to myself, I could not go back to sleep. With this transition, I am choosing life. People want to know what they can do to help. The best thing is to become educated. It is important to me that you be provided time to ask questions and to think about what this means for you in a way that is safe for both you and me. I encourage each of you to talk this over with your SUPERVISOR, H.R. LIAISONS, or DIRECTOR. There are a wealth of on-line resources if you wish to delve more into this area, and I have furnished some on my web site and in the DEPT library. I am quite open to talking about this and I will be around to answer questions. I also welcome your words of support. I have come to appreciate more fully the sort of environment we have created in DEPT that gives the space and encouragement for something like this to take place. I hold you all in very high regard and I know that we will be able to work together in the future at least as well as we have in the past. Sincerely, OLD NAME/NEW NAME Discussion Of LetterI spent quite a bit of time editing and tweaking this letter, so as to say the right message. The meta-messages I was intending to send were that this is serious, this is my choice, and that we will still be able to work together. Given the results of the announcement and subsequent start of full-time living, I would say this was successfull. In the beginning, I was much too verbose. I think the first draft went for 10 pages! My goal was to get the memo down to less than a full page, and provide simply and straight-forwardly the information they would need to work with me. As examples of the editorial process, I've included prior versions of the letter here: There was a fourth version, but it is so close to the one above, I didn't feel it necesary to include here. Categories: Transition, Work, ComingOut |